I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
