is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
