it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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