clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Randomize
