yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
don't judge my taste in strippers
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
