yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
