Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
3pm strippers are depressing
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
