I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
