There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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