I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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