her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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