no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
