What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
