It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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