I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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