I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
