Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm always down for nudity.
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