so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you never un-have a 4some
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
