we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
