Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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