Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
