at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
