see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
