He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
this is an emotional support booty call
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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