Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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