What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I am one with the molecules
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
