everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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