You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize