If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
