When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize