It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
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i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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