If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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