I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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