We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you didnt know i had herpes?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
