so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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