a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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