shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you had me at cake vodka
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I think your dad took our porno
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
