all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
