why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
