Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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