well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i out mim tonsoeep
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
