Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
