idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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