zippers are such a cool invention
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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