Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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