yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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