I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
