dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
