I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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