i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis