Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"