I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off