It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
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it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..