I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize