The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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