Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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