if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
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If I die, sorry about rent.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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