Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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