obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
