he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
