My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?