a bad idea.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I FOUND THE LEGS