Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i jhust puked up my retainher.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I just gift wrapped bread.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.