Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO