That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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