um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
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