Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
