Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize