I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
