I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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