So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
