Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
