We won't sleep together?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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