Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
