I feel great
I just peed on a car
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
