in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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