my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
